its been ages .

since ii last updated. been extremely lazy. ii realized as ii read through my old blogs, it seems like im always the one gettin hurt in the end. am ii really that gullible ? ii guess ii am. im such a loser. ii keep living in the past. even tho ii knw ii need to let things go and move on. ii cant seem to trust a guy without having any doubts. why tell me all these things when yu dont even mean it. cos seriously, ii do believe the things yu said, ii knw im not perfect. no one is. theres no such thing as perfection in this world. everyone makes mistakes. but it seems like im always making them. ii try learning. making sure ii wont make the same mistakes over and over again. ignoration doesnt make things any better, it only makes them worse. .

oh shieaatttt.

so like this song helluh describe how im feeling tho. =(
my regret by banky.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFqriwDIi-4

thoughts.

so like ive been told that ii can do so much better, theres so many guys out there, why am ii still helluh stuck on him, because ii love him, ii really do. even tho he hurt me many times over and over again, ii cant seem to stay mad at him. ii cant help but to forgive him for his mistakes. call me stupid, but thats how ii am. ii dont take relationship like a game where yu can jst quit wen yur gettin tired. ii really wish ii can talk to him and work things out, but im scared, it doesnt seem like he wants to so why bother ? ii dont want to make us awkward when we talk if ii bring it up. yah ii think way too much what ifs, and im not brave enough to confront when its a situation like this. it doesnt sound like me ehh, im usually helluh loud, doing stuff, not carin what other thinks or say. but ii guess theres nothing else ii can do about, if he wants to stay as friends, then ill respect his decision. even tho deep down in me, ii knw ii really wanna be with him, ii dont want to show it because ii dont want him to feel bad for what hes making me feel.

sigh.

sometimes ii feel like im the one whos always messing up in a relationship. so ii guess were jst friends now =( . ii wonder how long its gonna take me to get over him this time. months? yah, can be . sighh. ii really do miss him. ii miss how things used to be. its so weird talking to him now. ii wish ii can go back in time and fix our problems. . . ii guess thats how life is. prolly gonna stay single for a long while. tired of gettin hurt, cryin every night waking up with puffy eyes. ii envy happy couples.

Late night thoughts.

lately, ii havent been able to get much sleep. why ? because many thoughts are runnin through my mind. this is what ii hate about myself. its when ii think of too much nonsense and it'll make me sad and wanting to cry. many thoughts starts with the "what if's..." what if this. what if that. maybe ii should stop and try and get some sleep.

Helluh true.

so ii took this quiz and its helluh true thoo.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.


http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

goodbye summer .

daym summer is ending in a weeks ? next week is my last week of summer. tat sucks. ii still havent done anything exciting yet :( ii wouldnt have much time to do anything special tho. cos. ii work on weekends.. from now till the 17. ill be busy . such as hanging with babe 2moro. mothers bday on thursday. then friday prolly cant kick it cos mamas home. then work. then monday go to wifeys house and sleep over. redye our hair and everythang, her bday hang out at her house, then hang with babe? hopefully. then back to school nest shiet on wednesday. only free day ill have is thursday. and what is there to do that day ? that days is prolly my last day of summer of hanging out. and its gonna be gayy ii bet. sad sad sad.